Updated: Oct 21
Are you experiencing a lull in your sex life? Maybe those spontaneous, steamy sessions have suddenly ceased? Or perhaps your weekly sex schedule has become regimented and mundane? Here at Satisfied box, we believe sex should be fun and enjoyable for all involved. After all, a healthy sex life leads to a happier you. S&M gear can help you to revitalise your sex life quickly, giving you and your partner something new to experiment with. Let us take a closer look.
Does S&M Hurt?
It can do, but in S&M, pain is used as a sexual stimulant. However, we aren’t talking broken bones. When you hear the term S&M most people’s minds go to whips, chains and toe-curling pain during sex. Although some people do enjoy this kind of sex, S&M can be far from this stereotype that has been created by the media. The goal should not be injury, it should be pleasure and pleasure is achieved in a multitude of different ways depending on the individual.
You can decide on the exact level of pain that is comfortable for you - it can be as simple as a light spanking. Some people don’t know that they like BDSM and S&M gear until they try it, so take things slow and remember, you can always build things up as you gain more confidence. The key is to enjoy sex!
What Does S&M Involve?
S&M can involve as much or as little as you and your partner want. A lot of S&M is sensory; this includes temperature play and pressure play. Usually there is a build-up of sensation, but in one specific area. To get used to this, try blindfolding your partner and use your hands to spank or tweak, so that they can focus in on that one intense sensation. The blindfolding helps with this as once one sense is lost, the others heighten. Once you’re comfortable with the blindfold, you could try loosely tying wrists or ankles, pinching, nibbling and asking permission to use spanking tools like paddles.
If you’re serious about investing in some beginners S&M gear, we have some firm favourites that can help you get started.
Silk Blindfold – As we mentioned, a blindfold is one of the best ways to test the waters when it comes to BDSM. Not only does it intensify any sensation but introduces the element of surprise. Silk or satin is the softest.
Chocolate Massage Candle – Any flavour would work here, but chocolate is our favourite! Melting candles made specifically for sex are amazing. Temperature play is exciting and can certainly reignite the spark you’re looking for. Drizzle a little on your partner’s skin, it won’t actually burn, but it’ll feel hot. If heat isn’t your thing, you can try ice cubes instead. Massage away!
Handcuffs – If you’re a beginner in BDSM, padded or fluffy hand cuffs are a great go to. You can always build up to metal, but soft is a good way to go at the start. Handcuffs allow the element of restraint in sex. Their versatility means you can attach them to most pieces of furniture and they’re adjustable for ultimate comfort.
Paddle – If we’re talking S&M gear, a paddle is a staple. Like any spanking device, a paddle varies in intensity because of its size and materials. Materials include leather, wood, plastic, silicone, stainless steel, rubber, and even glass. Discuss how much force you want to use beforehand.
Whether you’re using S&M gear or not, communication in the bedroom is absolutely essential. If you’re not comfortable with something, or it doesn’t feel nice, say so. Let your partner know what feels good, tell them what you’d like to do to them. If sex is a little lacklustre, there’s only one way it’ll improve and that’s by telling each other what you like. Talk about new things you’d like to try, make things exciting by testing new toys and positions together.
Get in Touch
If you really want to find out which S&M Gear is right for you, there’s only one way to find out! Our monthly subscription boxes offer an array of exciting and pleasurable sex toys. For more information, take a look at our Instagram, or head over to our subscription page to sign up today.