A Beginners Guide To S&M Gear

We’ve all heard of BDSM, the popular abbreviation for Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochism. The nature of bondage and the S&M gear that comes with it is an intriguing concept; some people absolutely love it, some know it’s categorically not for them. Then there are those curious individuals who, much like you, would like to know if it’s for them but haven’t yet tried it. We’re guessing you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t thinking of trying it?

You Don’t Have to Be Mr. Grey Straight Away…

Contrary to how it’s often portrayed, to engage in S&M, you don’t need a dungeon. You don’t have to use costumes or elaborate props and tools if you’re not quite there yet. What you do need is confidence, communication, and a little imagination. If you’re just starting to explore and you do want to bring some S&M gear to the bedroom, we would suggest that less is more in this case. You know yourself better than anyone else, so taking that into account, Google the toys that excite you, maybe watch some videos to learn how to get the most out of them. There are so many choices out there. Remember, you don’t have to re-enact Fifty Shades of Grey, unless you want to of course. It’s about enjoying yourself and experiencing something new and exciting.


Depending on the length of time you’ve been in your relationship, bringing up S&M can sometimes be awkward. If you’re up for it, a great way to test your fantasy is to incorporate it into dirty talk. Tell your partner exactly what you like, or what you’d like to do to them and how sexy you’d find it. Gauging their response can help you both decide what activities you're into, and where would be the best place to start.

Safety and Control

Safe words may sound a bit dramatic but depending on how quickly you’ve built up trust in different scenarios, they might become useful. Some fantasies may involve levels of power play, so a neutral safe word is responsible and makes boundaries crystal clear.

BDSM and the use of S&M gear is all about the dynamic of control. If you’re not sure where you should start, we would recommend bringing a blindfold to bed and seeing how you both like it. Mix it up a bit - take turns in being the boss. If you own a vibrator, simply handing over the controls to your partner can spice things up instantly. Remember kink isn’t just about sex, it’s about fulfilling one another by showing an interest in turning each other on.

Sensations and Touch

As a beginner, work up to everything gently. Don’t go locking yourself in chains and throwing away the key just yet. Padded, Velcro handcuffsare comfortable, sexy and easy S&M gear to use. They’re a great gateway to establishing if you might like more niche things, like rope ties.

If you don’t feel like dressing up from head to toe, you don’t have to. Let’s face it, your clothes probably won’t be on for long anyway. Perhaps think about bringing different textures into the bedroom. Sensations and touch are extremely important in BDSM and a little leather, latex or lace in the right places can definitely make all the difference.

Like textures, temperature play is a fun way to experiment. Indulge in hot and cold sensations by using ice or hot bondage wax to drip onto yourself and your partner. Be careful to test the wax on your hand first, and when it hits the skin, massage it in.

When you’re really turned on, pain can feel a lot like pleasure. You don't have to get a punishing spanking to experience this; a little nibbling or a little hair-pulling is all it takes to heighten the sexual tension.

If you really want to find out what S&M Gear is right for you, you need to get stuck in. Our monthly subscription boxes offer an array of exciting and pleasurable sex toys. For moreinformation, take a look at ourInstagramor head over to oursubscription pageto sign up today.

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